In contrast to troilism (the threesome – see next section), mate-swapping is often an occasional thrill that may not even be premeditated. The practice is mainly found among mature couples who are otherwise happy and settled together but who find their sex life is getting monotonous: they have tried everything, perversions included, and are running out of new possibilities.
They will have fantasized about swapping partners; they will have talked about it, perhaps only in conversation, perhaps as a sexual build-up.
One evening they have another happy couple to dinner, a couple they have known for years. After the meal – with plenty of wine – they start to dance, each man’s wife with the other woman’s husband. No harm in that.
They are dancing by candlelight. Smoochy music, dancing cheek to cheek … suddenly one pair find themselves alone: the others have slipped upstairs to the bedroom. The dancing couple exchange conspiratorial glances. With the other two making love just overhead, it’s only natural to do the same …
This is the classic scenario for a first experience of mate-swapping.
Mate-swapping depends on a certain intimacy between the two couples – which is not at all the case with an orgy, for example. Here there is no voyeurism or exhibitionism; it is a sincere, sensual, tender union. Nobody feels they are cheating on their partner.
Occasional, fortuitous experiments of this kind cannot be considered a perversion because the couples involved are united and stay united. The situation is different with couples who seek out occasions for mate-swapping as a way of saving a moribund marriage, or drawn by the thought of new sensations. Here the scenario is quite different:
For example, a couple may put a small ad in a specialist magazine, exchange photos, select a couple and set up a meeting. Or they may get in the car and head for a district that is known as a meeting place for swappers. Contact is established and everyone ends up in a hotel or the home of one of the couples.
As a rule, swapping with strangers leaves the swappers disappointed, dissatisfied or frankly disgusted, as a man feels after a session with a prostitute. No sex is better than sex without love.
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Tags: Erectile Dysfunction, Men’s Health