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At the same time that you’re working on many other changes, you may be entering a new phase of dealing with external appearances and differences. Recall the time it took for you to get used to the change in your image after you started using assistive devices, such as braces or a wheelchair. Remember how Joan refused the power wheelchair for a couple of years because it looked stodgy and bulky? As she reentered life more fully, she realized that the power chair gave her greater freedom and autonomy to do the things she wanted to do. She began to adapt or modify her image of herself in the power chair. This is what reframing your self-image is all about.

As you gain more self-direction, you’ll probably feel free to make the decisions that feel right to you, including decisions about how you present yourself to others. Have you learned the art of reframing your picture to highlight those aspects of yourself that you value most – a well-developed, muscular upper body, beautiful long hair, friendly eyes, nicely proportioned figure, big smile, or symmetrical features? Lee, for example, is conscious of the cut of his suit jackets, preferring a shorter cut, which looks better when he’s in his wheelchair. Lark wears slacks because she feels she looks more attractive in them. She always dresses up, believing that “people treat you with more respect” if you are well dressed and that a good appearance creates positive attitudes and enhances relationships with others.

Remember: there are many “right” decisions. Listen to your inner voice to find out what you want. Some people proudly include their sports wheelchair or crutches or power chair in their photographs. Others do not. How you choose to see yourself is up to you. This is a part of the fine-tuning of your adjustment to spinal cord injury.

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Mindfulness is a way to listen more closely to your mind and body to increase your understanding of your inner self. It gives you more personal power over your cravings and emotions. It provides a way to observe your mind, to watch your thoughts and feelings without being caught up in them.

Mindfulness is simply a different way of looking at things, a way that will enlighten, strengthen, and empower you. I see it happen to people every day.

The three characteristics of a mindful approach to your eating are:

1. Paying Attention

You must begin to focus your attention on the thoughts, feelings, and circumstances that trigger your desire to eat and make it difficult for you to stop eating. This means paying attention. Paying attention means not allowing yourself to be distracted.

2. Increasing Awareness

Once you begin to pay attention to your eating, you must begin to develop a sense of focused concentration on all aspects of your relationship with food. You must become aware of the details of how, what, where, and why you eat.

3. Focusing on the Present Moment

Mindfulness involves focusing on a particular moment in time. When you eat, you must begin to concentrate exclusively on eating. During a meal, I don’t want you to be thinking about what happened earlier in the day or what is going to be happening tomorrow. Neither do I want you to be on automatic pilot, only half aware of what you are doing. This will be a new experience since we live most of our lives in the past and future in a semiconscious state of going through the paces of day-to-day living.

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The normal vagina is potential space but during this Stage , the upper two-thirds balloons out and forms a cavity to accommodate the erect penis. The lower one-third is narrowed because of vasocongestion and grips the penis firmly. The uterus also enlarges during this stage, and a remarkable yet consistent change takes place in the clitoris. The whole clitoris retracts upwards in front of the symphysis pubic bone, while the glans withdrawn beneath the foreskin. It is not easy to locate the body and the glans of the retracted clitoris with the finger and inexperienced males—often fumble searching for it.

The clitoral body retraction is a sure sign that the female is about to reach her orgasm if stimulation is continued, otherwise the clitoral body and glans promptly return to their original overhanging position. In fair women, the inner lips (labia minora) become congested and appear bright red in colour. The colour change is not so prominent in dark-complexioned women.

The Plateau Phase may last from 30 seconds to a few minutes before culminating in an orgasm. If the orgasm does not place, pelvic congestion may persist for a few hours and may lead, to tension and frustration.

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