“Loving you makes me love myself.”

“And loving you makes me love myself.”

“I’m so glad I can love you and feel loved by you.”

“And I’m so glad I can love you and feel loved by you.”

“I love you so much, my dearest.”

“And I love you so very much, my darling.”

“I need so much love.”

“And I need so much love, too.”

“You are the most important person in my life.”

“And you are the most important person in my life.”

“I’d do almost anything for you.” “And I’d do almost anything for you.” “I’ll always love and honor you.” “And I’ll always love and honor you.” “I’ll cherish you until I die.” “And I’ll cherish you until I die.” Husband and wife kiss softly and tenderly.

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Homosexuality (like other forms of alternate sexual orientation) is rarely changeable. My theories about this are in line with classical psychoanalytical concepts, which hold that sexual orientation is conditioned during the “stage of discovery”— between two and three years of age, which is when children discover the differences in sexual anatomy between boys and girls. How parents respond to the child’s sexual discovery and curiosity, what kind of sexuality they themselves model, and how the parents and siblings relate to the particular child, all have an impact on sexual orientation. There may be personality traits that predispose a child toward a homosexual orientation, but I believe that the family environment is the most crucial factor.

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For example, they may realize that their objection to their spouse’s fat hips has to do with repressed memories about a parent’s fat hips, or to childhood taunts about their own fat hips by siblings and schoolmates. Or, they may discover that being repelled by hair is associated with repressed memories about a parent’s or sibling’s hair. By tracing the transference to its source, the intensity of the transference may be lessened, and sexual feelings enhanced.

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“Now, I’ve washed your back, your underarms, your rear, and your penis. You wash the rest.” “Yes, Mom.”

She sits on a very high stool (or such), so as to give the impression that she is sitting high above him, just as a mother does. She may also be dressed in a mother’s type of dress— an old-fashioned one, and wearing makeup and hair in a motherly way (in a bun) as well. She sits with arms folded, as if ready to judge and rebuke.

The son proceeds to play with himself as Mom watches.

“Look, Mom, I have a penis.”

“So I see.”

“It’s a very special penis.” “Is it?”

“It is! It really is! Look at my penis.” “I’m looking.”

“See what it can do? It can get big like this.” “That’s a wonderful penis you’ve got.” “And it can swing from side to side like this.” “What a wonderful swing.” “And up and down, too.”

“Oh, my dear—how amazing!”

“That’s nothing. Wait until you see what it can do next!” “What’s that, I wonder?” “You’ll see.”

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Setting: “Doctor’s office” in the home. Aim: Appeal to the fantasy of “playing doctor,” which children of a certain age act out and which represents a natural curiosity about sexual details. Obsessives are big on details, so this game is designed to take the “detail orientation,” eroticize it, and transform it into something more meaningful.

Game Plan: In this game, the husband and wife take turns playing doctor and patient. If they are an “odd couple,” the control freak should play the doctor first, because he or she will relish that role more than the other, whereas the slob will relish the role of patient more.

At the appointed time the doctor comes out of his or her office (a converted bedroom, den, or basement will do) and asks the patient to come in. The patient does, and the doctor asks the visitor to get undressed and lie on the examining table.

“Now, this isn’t going to hurt. I’m going to give you a thorough physical examination. Please bear with me,” says the doctor.

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The treatments for the bacterial causes of enteritis, such as salmonella and shigella and Campylobacter infections, are antibiotics. Giardia infections are usually treated with metronidazole.

Sexual contacts must be examined and treated. For some organisms that cause enteritis, such as giardia and shigella, evaluation of nonsexual household contacts(parents, spouses, children, and siblings) is also recommended, since these infections are fairly easy to transmit nonsexually as well, especially through improper food handling.

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It can be difficult to know whether or not these “bumps” are warts, because the genital skin is somewhat irregular in appearance in most men and women anyway. Bumps can be a normal part of the genital anatomy—pearly penile papules in men, sebaceous cysts in men and women, or hymen remnants for women. An experienced health care provider can help determine whether the bumps are simply normal anatomy, are caused by HPV infection, or are due to another infection, such as molluscum contagiosum.

Warts can occur anywhere in the anal and genital area, as high up as the lower abdomen and as low down as the upper thighs. A man may have warts in the urethral opening, where they may or may not be noticed. Symptoms include urethral bleeding or discharge, or a change in the stream of urine, although generally warts in the urethra do not cause symptoms.

Women may have warts on the soft surfaces of the inner labia and vagina and on the cervix. Warts on the inner labia and vagina may be raised or flat. Warts on the cervix are usually flat. Internal warts may not be noticed by the woman and may only be revealed upon examination by a health care provider.

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But anyone who has had sexual relations may possibly have a sexually transmitted infection, even if he or she is completely symptom free.

If your partner has used condoms or other barrier methods during every sexual contact with other partners, it is less likely that he or she has acquired an infection, but this also is not guaranteed. Certain infections, such as herpes or genital warts, may spread even with condom use. Being tested for all of the sexually transmitted infections before becoming sexually active is the only way to know for sure. If you are not certain that your partner is not having sexual contact with other partners, then it is wise to continue to practice safer sex to protect yourself.

If your partner has any symptoms, or if you notice anything about your partner’s body that worries you, such as rashes or sores or discharge, it’s best to delay having sex until the symptoms have been evaluated by a health care provider. Inspecting your partner’s genitals before you become intimate can help you detect potential problems, including things that your partner hasn’t noticed or realized could be a problem. This examination doesn’t have to be done in a scientific way. During fore-play, if there is adequate lighting available, you can usually briefly examine your partner without being obvious about it.

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However, PSA (prostate-specific antigen) is not a magic wand, pointing with resolute certainty toward prostate cancer—and that’s the problem. Even doctors aren’t exactly sure how best to use the test, and how to make sense of the information it provides.

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